The Well-Read Swinger

Here’s a partial list of what we’re planning to read and review for you in 2019. As we add reviews, we’ll link them to this page. If no review accompanies a posting below, we haven’t gotten to that title yet.

sexy-reader
Not Elle. photo | Pixabay

Did someone say ‘sapiosexual’?

Not all of these are about the swinging lifestyle, exactly. Some are about sexuality in general. Some are about relationships. Pretty sure one is about sex within monogamous relationships. At least one is more about true polyamory than swinging (but promises to have some insightful stuff for us nonetheless). One is meant for counseling professionals, but we’re gonna read it anyway.


If you’re going to purchase any of these for yourself, please consider using our links (or click on the book covers). The small kickback we get helps us produce this blog and feed Elle’s lingerie and stilettos habit (you can see photos of some of those on our Instagram account and scattered about in this blog).


The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton (Third Edition, 2017)

CLICK HERE to read our review

Amazon Sez | “For 20 years The Ethical Slut has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to communication and sex has been revised to include interviews with poly millennials …, tributes to poly pioneers, and new sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, and ways polys can connect and thrive. The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of “more than two”: couples who don’t live together, couples who don’t have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition.”


Swingland: Between the Sheets of the Secretive, Sometimes Messy, but Always Adventurous Swinging Lifestlye by Daniel stern (2013)

CLICK HERE to read our review 

Amazon Sez | “With wit and infectious enthusiasm, Stern shares all the hard-earned wisdom he’s acquired in America’s swinging underground. He encounters plenty of bumps and bruises along the way, including countless rejections, missed opportunities, and one particular AARP orgy. But slowly and surely, through an impressive series of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, this “Vanilla” newbie becomes a much sought-after partner for couples looking to spice up their relationships….

“Equal parts memoir and guide book” (New York Post), Swingland is much more than a “unique, voyeuristic exposé” (Kirkus Reviews). Lovingly written, with a keen sensibility regarding the sensitive and often misunderstood subject, Stern’s narrative is as improbably safe as it is fun—and impossible to put down.”


A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy by Rhea Orion (2018).

Amazon Sez | “Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) means that all partners in a relationship consent to expanded monogamy or polyamory. Clinicians are on the front line in providing support for the estimated millions pioneering these modern relationships. This first available guide for therapists provides answers to prevalent questions: What is the difference between expanded monogamy and polyamory? Is CNM healthy and safe? Why would someone choose the complexities of multiple partners? What about the welfare of children? Through illustrative case studies from research and clinical practice, therapists will learn to assist clients with CNM agreements, jealousy, sex, time, family issues, and much more.”


Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel (2007)

Amazon Sez | “Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.”


Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us by Jesse Bering (2014)

Amazon Sez | “Combining cutting-edge studies and critiques of landmark research and conclusions drawn by Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, and the DSM-5, Bering pulls the curtain back on paraphilias, arguing that sexual deviance is commonplace. He explores the countless fetishists of the world, including people who wear a respectable suit during the day and handcuff a willing sexual partner at night. But he also takes us into the lives of “erotic outliers,” such as a woman who falls madly in love with the Eiffel Tower; a pair of deeply affectionate identical twins; those with a particular penchant for statues; and others who are enamored of crevices not found on the human body….As kinky as it is compassionate, illuminating, and engrossing, Perv is an irresistible and deeply personal book. “I can’t promise you an orgasm at the end of our adventure,” Bering writes, “but I can promise you a better understanding of why you get the ones you do.”


Come As You  Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski (2015)

CLICK HERE to read our review

Amazon Sez | “An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy…..Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible. And Emily Nagoski can prove it.”


More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert (2014)

Amazon Sez | “Challenging the notion of what society considers a healthy and successful relationship, they offer up personal stories from their own lives as well as of those in the wider poly world, emphasizing that this lifestyle choice isn’t for the noncommittal. Polyamory is all about the relationships and the individuals participating. Charting a Relationship Bill of Rights, the authors underscore the importance of engaging in ethical polyamory and guide readers through the thorny issues of jealousy and insecurity with the aim of encouraging readers to work consistently and conscientiously on both their relationships and themselves.”


Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris (2018)

Amazon Sez | “Whether addressing sexual frustration with your partner, trying out new fantasies, or negotiating the terms of a BDSM scene, Stella Harris believes that communication skills are vital to sexual fulfillment. Tongue Tied gives readers straightforward advice on how to conquer their fears, identify their needs, and feel positively empowered. Harris charmingly takes readers through all aspects of communication, from basic interpersonal skills to negotiation advice for expert-level kink play. Learn how to have fun, embrace silly moments, support your loved ones, and take personal responsibility for your desires.”


Tell Me What You Want: The Secret of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life by Justin J. Lehmiller (2018)

Amazon Sez | “What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get what we want? Justin J. Lehmiller, one of the country’s leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology…recently concluded the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans’ sexual fantasies ever undertaken, a monumental two-year study involving more than 4,000 Americans from all walks of life, answering questions of unusual scope.  Based on this study, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps listeners to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different.” 


Are there other titles we should add?
Contact us with suggestions!


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