This is Part 2 of a 3-Part “prequel trilogy.” You may want to start with Part 1, if you haven’t.
Most of the writing on our blog is done by Elle; however, we thought it was high time Ess piped up a bit with his thoughts and emotions about our journey from vanilla to LS. We decided to do this She Said/He Said “interview” style.
ELLE | Were you seriously feeling me out for interest when you joked about threesomes and seeing me play with another woman? Or was that purely joking, until I asked?
ESS | I was definitely interested, I just never thought it would happen.
ELLE | Aha!! So I was right!
ESS | Yes, dear. You’re very perceptive and clever.
ELLE | What were your emotions and thoughts when I asked if you were actually interested in playing sexually with others?
ESS | It was exciting to think about and especially to talk about with you — if I remember right, those discussions preceded some great sex. I was — and am — intrigued. I can’t say I was surprised by you asking because, by the time we got to that point, you had dropped enough hints that I knew it was coming.
ELLE | Wait. I had dropped enough hints? I thought you were Hinty McHinterson.
ESS | I have no idea what you’re talking about. Your memory is failing.
ELLE | Uh-huh. So, here’s what I’ve figured out about your “hunting” style —
ESS | Oh, this should be good.
ELLE | No, really. I’ve figured out that you are not a “go out and shoot it” hunter. You are a “set a snare and wait for it to come to you” hunter. Bear with me. Remember how you told me you started dating as a teen by learning how to cook, then innocently making meals for girls you were into?
ESS | Yes. Women love a man who can cook.
ELLE | Yes, that’s true. But it was also your first snare. Your hunting M.O. is still to create the conditions under which your prey will come to you, instead of you going out to get them. You’ve been doing it ever since. I’m on to you, bub!
ESS | I mean, it worked.
ELLE | I, on the other hand, am a “go out and club it over the head and drag it back kicking and screaming” hunter. I’ve had to work on being more subtle through the years… Oh god. You’re right. I was Hinty McHinterson!
ESS | And there’s that renowned self-awareness making an appearance, right on schedule.
ELLE | But I’m not wrong about your hunting style.
ESS | Fair.
ELLE | Were your feelings hurt or did you feel threatened when I asked, or by the way I asked?
ESS | I don’t actually remember how you asked, specifically. Because we had joked about it so much and for so long, I think we both had ample time to process our feelings about it individually before we decided to make the jump.
ELLE | I think I just interrupted our teasing and said, “So are we gonna do this for real, or what?” Subtle Elle at her best. But, it’s nice to hear you say that you were processing individually that whole time. I may have seemed nonchalant, but you have no idea how much thought and trepidation went into me finally asking you aloud if you were really interested.
ESS | And, by the time you asked to start a dating profile, we had talked about it so much that I was ready for it. You may be forgetting that you hinted about wanting to start a dating profile as my birthday present to you…months before your birthday, and months before we actually did it.
ELLE | Oh yeahhhhh…..I did forget that. You were listening?!
ESS | I was listening.
ELLE | Asking for LS steps for my birthday seems to be a favorite ploy of mine, huh? I may also gather sometimes. I plant seeds and wait.
ESS | Indeed. You’re practically Johnny Appleseed.
Part 3 of this prequel series will go a bit into our relationship history and communication work we did together — outside of our LS discussions — before we got to the point where any of this was possible. Stay tuned! In the meantime, you may want to read this guest blog post we did for We Gottta Thing, to learn more about our journey.
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